SB Journaling Challenge

Blog Challenge:

Have you had any 'a-ha' moments in your life?
In the past?
Lately?
How have they affected your life?

from BonnieRose

A-ha moment? I think I have had probably a few. Off the top of my head I can't think of any recently - which would lead me to think I am way too busy of a person! I would have to say that the realization that I am "ME" and I am who God wants me to be was a huge A-Ha moment I am still trying to work on. Occasionally I fall into the whole "COMPARE" thing. I compare my talents, gifts, passions, interests and accomplishments with others and think - I fall so short. But in reality - I am who God made me. I have my own talents, gifts, passions, interests and accomplishments. I also need to live more for me. What do I want to wear today not what Glamour mag would put on me. What do I want to listen to on my Ipod - not what Itunes is pushing at the moment. What do I want to do with my life - with God's guidance - not what is expected, desired, trendy for me. These are all things - that I realize now - were not impressed upon me growing up - hence the huge self esteem issue I have. I have no self confidence and do not want to see my girls grow up that way. I want them to be self assured, confident and secure in who they are, what they are doing and how they do it. I want them happy. Something I am still working on but so far from where I was even a year ago.

**Resilience** isn't a 'some have it, some don't' quality. It' a skill we can all develop, a way to look at our experience that's energizing and empowering-the opposite of victim thinking. If you want to strengthen your resilience, grab a pen and consider the following:

1. Are you more resilient than you think? What have you said you could never get through only to find yourself surviving it-and even thriving afterward? Write/journal a few sentences in praise of your courageous, resourceful, stalwart self. Am I more resilient than I think - YES. I made it thru 27 and 36+ hours of labor with no pharmaceutical intervention for pain. I made it through 18 months of breast feeding with each child. I made it through nursing school and lived to tell about it. There were times during all these incidents I did not think that I could make it through. I know it seems rather flippant but if you have ever been in labor you know. If you have ever been nursing - exclusively nursing - where all your friends, family and the like thing a bottle won't hurt the child - and what IS the big deal with nursing anyway - facing sore nipples, mastitis, swollen boobs, all night feeds, hour long feeds, teething, feeding every two to three hours - and that is just the tip of the iceberg - you know! I wanted to throw the towel in several times while nursing, several times while in labor and my senior year of nursing school - I wanted to drop out a zillion and one times. But I persevered and made it. The last time was when we were stuck in India with the thought that we might not get out of India for seven more days. We got tickets to get out - but when we were to get on the plane they denied us and the first phone call I made to the tune of $59.00 just socked me in my stomach. I didn't think I was going to make it. I was tired, hungry, dehydrated and worried that I did not have the leadership qualities to get our group on the plane. I remember at one point telling someone this (not in our group) - and all it took was for him to say - "yes yes you can - God IS with you. But - I got through and I am stronger and more confident because of it. These are times in my life I look back and think - I did it yes - but I did it because God was there with me every step of the way enabling me to get through it. Without him I would have never made it through.

2.How do you deal with disappointment? Do you bounce back with enthusiasm or fall with a thud? Pick an area of your life where you're licking your wounds and think of 2 ways you could move forward again and be more resilient? I hate disappointment. HATE it. I pout, have a seizure (like my daughter), curse the world and who ever was apart of that disappointment. I curl up in bed for weeks on end eatting chocolate and watching lifetime network movies..... KIDDING. Sort of. Depending on what the disappointment is I can usually just bounce back. I have to concentrate that what ever the disappointment was to me - it is all apart of God's grand plan. There is a time and purpose for everything. Sometimes while "licking my wounds" I forget this because my flesh so badly wanted whatever was the big disappointment. I have one area of my life that is a huge disappointment. I keep just focusing on God's plan but I gotta tell you - it's getting harder and harder. It's almost like a tug-o-war between him and I. I want this particular thing so bad but it's just not coming through. I know God has a plan and I am sure he is wanting me to give up control. HOWEVER - I do not want to give up control - I want this particular thing to happen. Who do you think is going to win???? uh my bets not on me.......