In a phunk......

I must admit..... I am in a phunk. I have been in a phunk since my mom died.

I haven't been able to scrap book much. I had a bunch of lil albums started just prior to leaving for Florida and attempted a few projects but the creativity just isn't there.

I also had a pair of socks on needles that I was working on - and those still sit there.

I had a book as well - that still sits unread.

I have done other things that haven't been started or even thought of before my mom died.

I had an appointment the other day with my doctor (my first REAL appointment in Chicago.) (Who said people in the Health profession were the model of health promotion). She was saying that death of mother takes more of a toll on our bodies mentally, emotionally and physically than the death of our fathers (all though that is up there), close friends, children and spouses.

I have been majorly busy since I got back from Florida and I feel like I am just now getting my head above water. However, now with my head above water I see all the things that I haven't gotten done or NEED to get done. You know, the things that are severely neglected (which inevitably includes house cleaning when you are an adult).

I have been knitting like a mad woman - and I think it is because it it MINDLESS. I can knit for hours without really being creative. Reading requires attention. Scrapbooking requires attention to creativity and details. Heck, even housecleaning requires attention to details.

Then there is the community of knitting. Nat and Ro are knitting and this weekend we had a mom moment while Norm was working. Curled up on the couch (as it was a most fall windy chilly day) knitting for hours. We had such great conversations. My knitting group - so outside of my COI that it is refreshing to go and just be MYSELF. Knitting at work (when I am not trying to catch up on my work stuff) relieves the stress! Work has just been ICK lately. I contemplate calling in every day I have to work. (Thank goodness my work ethic is strong.... gosh darnit why does it have to be!)

SO I AM in a PHUNK. Maybe admitting it out loud is the first step to the twelve step recovery program? Doing THIS has helped. Doing THIS study has helped as well. Going to the Doctor helped ALOT (no she didn't prescribe anything gosh darn it.... there are times that I wish I believed in better living thru chemistry.) Smothering my free time in my girls has helped tremendously as well..... but the phunk still sits there (and it is not dirty laundry).

So bear with me as I pull out of this phunk. Part of this phunk involves my blog. Blogging isn't as fun anymore since I posted more for my mom's benefit (as was the scrapbooking - making lil scrapbooks of the girls to send to her.) I am assured that in no time I will be back to scrapbooking and my ole self. I am sure that would make the hubby happy.... and my LSS!

Till then - you can catch some more frequently updated ramblings et al here!

BonnieRose - thank you for all your cards and thoughts. I am such a horrible friend that I can't find time to return the love and kindness.... You have a heart of gold and the creativity of an angel!